Keeping it Real

Posted by Ms. Tausha.  Ms. Tausha is a regular contributor on Keeping It Real.  You can find her on Twitter and YouTube.

The other night I was on the phone with a good friend of mine who is also in the music business.  I recalled our previous conversations when we first began networking. When he would refer me to certain people to get things done he would tell me, “My name is your leverage.” Simply by affiliation, I would be able to gain access to certain people and areas I otherwise would not be able to gain access into.

The following day, after our conversation, I googled my friend’s name just to see what new articles were out there about him; there were pages and pages of articles, interviews, etc. On a whim, I then googled myself; to my surprise there were pages and pages of things that held MY NAME. At that moment, I came into full realization of something: first and foremost, my “leverage” is the name of Jesus; there is no other name that will open up doors for me. Second, I have FINALLY come to a place in this journey called life where I’ve found ME. I stand on my own. Before Christ, I strived to develop relationships with certain types of people. For instance, the types of men I wanted to date were always the ones who had a popular name; everybody knew them; every woman wanted them. I believed that my identity was found in the people I surrounded myself with. When I was at an event where I was meeting and greeting different people, I would introduce myself as being affiliated with that person; it was never just, “I am Tausha”, it was always, “I am Tausha, so and so’s friend.”

Do not get me wrong, I do know there are people that God has placed in my life to assist me in accomplishing what He wants me to accomplish in this earth; however, those people are sent by God. I no longer desire to seek out relationships with certain people in order to appear important; in order to feel like I am somebody. As I received this revelation in my heart, I was absolutely blown away! The power, the prestige, the identity that I so adamantly sought out in those men I have right here in me! And it’s been in me, I just had to realize it. Through Christ, I am all of those things that I was trying to get from a man. It isn’t found in any man, it is found through Christ in me.

With this revelation has come a whole ‘nother level of confidence in God, as well as in myself. As Paula White says, “If you don’t know who you are, you don’t know what you can do.” I can now proceed being fully persuaded, that God can and will do everything He has ever promised.  With this in mind, you can proceed the same way. It doesn’t matter who you’re affiliated with if you’re not “affiliated” with God. Everything in the earth is His, and the fullness thereof (Psalm 24:1). Think of it this way: Donald Trump is a very powerful name in this world. If you were good friends with Donald Trump, you would gain access into places you may never get to on your own. Now, referencing the aforementioned scripture, think of how much more you will gain access to if you are good friends with God! Everything is His!  Knowing who you are starts with knowing who’s you are.

Sincerely,
Ms. Tausha

I was out the other day putting the finishing touches on my preparations for Christmas this year.  I found myself spending some time observing Moms and Dads and sometimes their kids shopping, waiting in line, or any one of several other activities that it seems everyone has to do prior to Christmas festivities…

There was a common theme that was rather disappointing… very few people were smiling or enjoying themselves.

There’s no doubt that the time of year adds unnecessary stresses to everyone’s already hectic schedules but there are several things you can do to prevent stress from getting the best of you at this time of year…

• Put perfection behind you – Everyone wants the holiday season to be perfect…from striving to achieve a perfect reaction from your spouse or children to a gift you purchased to desiring the perfect feast and family get together, the perfect gift wrapping and decorations, etc.  Accept that you may not be able to achieve perfection in every aspect of your holiday season.
• Set yours plans for visiting family and friends in accordance with your priorities – There’s nothing quite as stressful as trying to be in 4 or 5 places (Mom’s place, Dad’s place, Granparent’s places, etc…) all at once.  Set your priorities for family visits with family and friends in accordance with YOUR priorities not those of your Great Aunt!  Consider alternating between your’s and your significant other’s families yearly and leave yourself the time to truly enjoy these opportunities – especially if visiting these families requires any significant travel requirements.
• For those last minute items, plan before you shop – It’s natural to forget an item or have to make a trip to pick up a few things at the last minute.  Make a list and plan where and what you will buy before you hop in the car and head to the mall.
• Take a moment to enjoy the moment – The stress caused by hectic schedules and season related to-do lists can be relieved by simply taking a moment to breathe and enjoy the wonderful around you!  Take a moment to remember why you celebrate this time of year.

How do you handle seasonal stresses?

photo credit: isabisa

It is important that we work towards our goals in life… personal and professional goals and aspirations… we’ve all heard that we need to keep our eye on the ball. 

Past experiences, especially less than favourable ones, contribute to fears and serve only to put perceived barriers in front of us.  These ‘limitations’ can prevent us from staying focused on our goals and put us into a state of accepting mediocrity.

But, for some, staying focused on some future end-result can be overwhelming at times also.  Sure, we all want to achieve goals and aspirations and achieve a certain level of success.  We know that if all we think about is past failures we are likely just putting ourselves into a state of inaction.  The same can be said, however, of focusing to far into the future… to live only in that end result takes our focus off the now.  A big goal, no matter what it is, can be daunting to think about if it’s not broken down into achievable steps that we can focus on today… steps we can take right now to get us that much closer to our goals.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” 
~  Robert Brault

It’s true.  For me, personally, I know that if I have a particularly big goal in front of me that focusing only on the end-result can overwhelm me and force me into a state of procrastination and making excuses… or it can take me out of the present moment and result in my absence to what is going on around me.  If instead I focus on the little steps I need to take right now, and I take action to achieve those little steps, then I can be satisfied at every moment that I am getting closer to my goal while staying present for myself and those around me.

“Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments.” 
~  Wayne Dyer

Appreciate the small things in life and take action on the steps necessary to achieve your goals.  You will live a m0re fruitful life and achieve beyond your imagination if you learn to savor the moment you’re in.  Furthermore, living in the now allows us to sieze opportunities as they unfold right in front of us…

“It would be incredible if we all lived every moment as if to create a memory we could cherish for a lifetime.”
~ Darren Sproat

photo credit: PrASanGaM

I have been asked on many occasions what ’system’ I use to gain as many followers as I have on Twitter.

The answer is simple – I don’t use any special system to gain followers.  I read the tweets of those I follow… I look for interesting conversations and tweets between people and follow those people.  If they follow me back great.

I recently tweeted:

“Twitter isn’t just about follows. It’s about connections.  Connect with your followers to create meaningful relationships.”

Those who know me from Twitter know that I have over 17,000 followers. I’m not going to try to tell you that I have a meaningful connection with every one of them.  However, that doesn’t change the fact that I will, on a regular basis, engage a few of my followers, individuals who I may not have had any past exchange with, in a meaningful conversation in an attempt to “put a face to the follow” or see what makes someone tick.  In every case where I have engaged in a meaningful conversation with someone following me I have come out of it a better person… I have met some incredible people, inspirational people, successful people, happy people, sad people, people in love, people who’s hearts have been torn out, people who have reached the top of the mountain and people making mountains out of mole hills.

The bottomline for me is I have met people… I have made connections.  I have kept it real.

Communicating is so important to all facets of one’s life… from building a healthy relationship with your significant other to raising your kids to maintaining a successful career or business.  In my experience, however, many people believe that being a strong communicator is equivalent to being able to effectively hear one out and react by spewing words that one believes the other wants to hear.

Communicating in such a way is not productive and can be filled with assumptions.  This is all too often the case when one doesn’t make the effort to listen and understand the conversation.  Instead of giving one’s attention to actually understand the conversation one simply takes the words, applies personal perception and emotion to what was heard, and reacts.

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.”
~ John Marshall

Effective communications requires a person to more than simply hear and react to what is being said.

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.  Just listen.  Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention… ”
~ Rachel Naomi Remen

So, how do we listen?

It’s simple… open your eyes and ears and shut your mouth!

photo credit: Stéfan