Keeping it Real

Posts Tagged ‘Coaching’

One of the true certainties in life is that little is certain… to truly experience life, energize your passion and clear your limitations to explore all possibilities.

photo credit: chema.foces

“Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities.”
~ Deepak Chopra

It took me a long time to understand that stepping outside of my comfort zone was the only real means to experience new things in life.  In doing so, I have overcome fears and perceived limitations in nearly every facet of my life.  Every once and a while, however, I need a little reminder and the quote above from Deepak Chopra reminded me of that tonight.

Let me know your thoughts?

Regards,
Darren Sproat

I was thinking about something a past manager once said to me…

“…a person’s biggest personal or professional strength is often their biggest weakness.”

We all have our strengths and our weaknesses… and we often understand how our strengths can contribute to our successes in life.  But, have you ever considered how your strengths have become a weakness and contributed to a failure you may have experienced?

One of my biggest strengths is the passion I put into those things I focus on.  Be it a relationship, writing a proposal, a blog entry, or simply playing a game of pool with my friends… I try to put my best into everything I do.  This personality trait probably grew out of being brought up to believe that if I am going to do something I may as well do it right or not at all… It is a behaviour that has contributed to success I have experienced and, while I always look at my passionate nature as a strength, I can also see where it has contributed to failures I have experienced in life.

I have a tendency to be passionately focused on what can only be described as the ideal means to reach a goal.  It can be described as tunnel-vision or operating with blinders on.  I set my mind on what the ideal steps or path to achieve a certain objective and convince myself that success is only possible it if it can be achieved by following those steps.  This has served me well as I maintain focus on the steps necessary to achieve objectives and success, and often do it against the odds.  But, this passionate idealism can contribute to a lack of flexibility or an inability to adapt in a scenario when the situation I have convinced myself is ideal doesn’t present itself.  I find that I become frustrated and tend to handcuff myself if I can’t achieve the goal in the predetermined “ideal” or “perfect” way I had in my mind.

Take the example of a quarterback in football who calls a play for a long pass to his wide receiver… if that receiver is well covered by a defender and the quarterback is unable to adapt, the play is unlikely to have a successful outcome. 

You certainly want to remain focused on the objective or goal you want to achieve.  However, learn to use your strengths and your weaknesses to your advantage.  And, learn to identify those traits often seen as strengths that could, in some situations, be contributing to failures.

For me, I had to learn to adapt to unexpected or undesired results along the way… I still expect the best but now prepare for less than that… in fact, I use my passion to ensure I am able to detour or adapt well and still work towards the objective.

Absolutely everything that happens along the way to your objectives are opportunities to learn more about yourself and, if looked upon as learning opportunities instead of barriers to your success, you will find that you achieve more of your dreams faster.

As with so much in life, something as simple as a change in mindset can help you.  Stay balanced and take stock of your strengths and weaknesses, recognize and acknowledge them, and then work those weaknesses back into strengths.

Leave a comment!

Regards,
Darren

The following was given to my little girl at the end of her Grade 2 year by one of her many amazing teachers so far.

“Whose child is this?” I asked one day
Seeing a little one out at play.
“Mine”, said the parent with a tender smile
“Mine to keep a little while.
To bathe her hands and comb her hair
to tell her what she is to wear,
To prepare her that she may always be good
And each day do the things she should”.

“Whose child is this?” I asked again,
As the door opened and someone came in.
“Mine”, said the teacher with the same tender smile.
“Mine to keep for just a little while.
To teach her how to be gentle and kind,
To train and direct her little mind,
To help her live by God’s golden rule,
And get the best she can from school.

“Whose child is this?” I asked once more,
Just as the little one entered the door.
“Ours”, said the parent and the teacher as they smiled,
And each took the hand of the little child.
“Ours to love and train together.
Our this blessed task forever”.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

We, and our children, are truly blessed by all those who are for an ‘raise’ our children… they are truly a product of their communities – their parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles, teachers, preachers, care givers, coaches, mentors, and so many more.  Thank you to all who devote their lives to shaping the minds and bodies of our precious little ones.

Please leave your thoughts!

By the way, if anyone knows who the original author is, please let me know.

Regards,
Darren

I recently asked a peer group, ”What is the most important aspect of the life you are living right now?” 

The answers I received were as diverse as the people I was sitting with. They varied from children to parents, pets to material possessions, a big promotion to employers, employees, and friends.  Not one person in the room answered, “ME”!

Is it selfish to believe that, above all, you should be conscious to YOUR needs above all others and believe that YOU are the most important aspect of the life you are living?

We are often encouraged, whether by literature or media or friendly advice, to be there for those we love and the people and things we value.  Sure, it’s important that your family and friends are important aspects of your life but I would argue that if being present for them is at the expense of your own health and well-being, that you are doing yourself and your friends and family a disservice.

You will be better prepared and able to be available for those aspects of your life you consider important - kids, parents, family, friends, employment, business, or a significant other - if you first acknowledge and aspire towards achieving YOUR happiness and are firmly on the path to achieving YOUR dreams, YOUR SUCCESS – no matter how success is defined for you.  If you are able to present your authentic self in all that you do, something that can only be done if you are consciuous to YOUR needs, mentally and physically, your loved ones and, in fact, YOU will benefit greatly.

Here are some great tips for being present for yourself…

• Give a toast to you… Make a list of all the things you love about yourself… don’t just think of a few things and then move on to the next point, do it!  If you need help, ask a few friends to tell you of the qualities they love about you.
• Avoid the negative hits to self worth… Avoid sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. If you sit around thinking about all the things that make you feel bad or talking about it to anyone who will listen, it will make you feel worse.  Sure, you can acknowledge that there are things that make you feel bad but then focus on what you are grateful for in life.
• Eat better and stay active… Living healthier today than you did yesterday, and making that a goal for every morning when you wake up, is something that will improve you both physically and mentally.
• What do you love to do?  Make a list of the things you love to do and then do them!  Does that seem simple?  It is.
• Identify the learning opportunities… Every challenge in life is an opportunity to learn and better yourself.  This self betterment is what, when faced with challenges today, you should look forward to identifying and embracing. 
• Be happy… Your happiness is a choice… YOUR CHOICE!  Choose happiness when you wake up in the morning.  Approach each day as the gift that it is… with the enthusiasm and anticipation of a child on Christmas morning waiting to open that present from Santa.
• Listen to your body… One’s body sends many messages throughout the day.  When it’s time to eat, you’re hungry.  When it’s time to rest, you’re tired.  When it’s time to relax, put the damn cellular phone down and relax.  Be present for YOU!  You will find that handling the day’s anxieties and stresses becomes that much easier when you listen to the messages your body is sending you.

So, consider yourself the most important aspect of your life… it is not selfish.

I welcome your input on this… Comment now, and, as always, opposing viewpoints are always welcome at Keeping it Real.

Regards,
Darren Sproat

photo credit: aqhong
I have personally experienced and been involved with situations where many others have demonstrated signs of addiction to different social media sites including Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn – not to mention the seemingly hundreds of others.  While these social networking sites offer a great deal of benefit to those using them, you should recognize early when you are demonstrating signs of addiction and adjust your life accordingly… take a step back and decide exactly how these sites should fit into your life.

Following are just 5 signs you are addicted to social networking.  They represent some of the signs I personally have demonstrated as well as reasons people have come to me for assistance in taking stock of how these sites play a role in their lives moving forward.

1. You are losing sleep because of your social networking activities.
2. You spend more time on social networks then you intended to when you logged on.
3. You become obsessed with connecting with old friends, loves, or others.
4. You start ignoring work or other responsibilities in favor of social networking activities.
5. The thought of logging off leaves you in a cold sweat.

Take stock of how you are using these sites… whether for personal or professional reasons, and don’t allow usage to start to control your life.  Remain accountable and present for yourself and those close to you and use social networking for only the reasons you see it benefiting your life.

Have you got a story about online addictions?  Are you aware of other signs of online addictions or tips for my readers to use to recognize and overcome these addictions?  I would be honored if you shared in a comment below… click here to share your information now!

Sincerely,
Darren Sproat