Keeping it Real

Posts Tagged ‘Satisfaction’

I am happy to welcome, once again, Kelly Karius, from Karius and Associates, as a guest contributor on Keeping it Real.  Your comments are welcome and I encourage you to connect with Kelly.

From the Heart

It’s hard to speak from the heart sometimes. But that is often exactly what needs to be done in order to have healthy growth in our relationships. To really put your innermost thoughts into words takes a bravery that can be developed…with practice.

The practice path…

• Understand that your thoughts are not dysfunctional. Our thoughts develop in conjunction with our experiences. Experience…thoughts…more experience…reinforcement of thoughts and belief…that’s how it works. Your thoughts are exactly in line with the experiences you have had in your life.
• Attach feelings to thoughts. Our thoughts are not far separated from our feelings, but often times we are unsure of what it is we even feel. If you need some ideas and inspiration about feelings, keep a list of feelings handy. A very quick google search will bring you to something like this > Feelings.
• Speak from the heart to YOURSELF about yourself.
• Understand your hopes and dreams about the situation. Understanding what you want to happen in a relationship, job or project will help you be able to express it more clearly.
• Use a neutral sounding board before approaching someone about a heart to heart talk in order to be sure your thoughts, intentions and understandings are clear.
• Examine the worst case scenario. Remember that no one will ever eat you for expressing your innermost self.

Leave your thoughts on this!

Contributed to Keeping it Real by:
Kelly Karius

Kelly Karius, an expert in conflict dynamics, intervention, management and resolution, has a wealth of knowledge and experience ready to tap. Kelly helps people build positive relationships, both at home and at work. An accomplished keynote speaker and trainer, Kelly delivers seminars that are informative, comfortable, engaging and motivating. Her “Taking Control” Conflict Management Seminar has even been called “life-changing.”  You may choose to view Karius and Associates or follow her on Twitter

I was out the other day putting the finishing touches on my preparations for Christmas this year.  I found myself spending some time observing Moms and Dads and sometimes their kids shopping, waiting in line, or any one of several other activities that it seems everyone has to do prior to Christmas festivities…

There was a common theme that was rather disappointing… very few people were smiling or enjoying themselves.

There’s no doubt that the time of year adds unnecessary stresses to everyone’s already hectic schedules but there are several things you can do to prevent stress from getting the best of you at this time of year…

• Put perfection behind you – Everyone wants the holiday season to be perfect…from striving to achieve a perfect reaction from your spouse or children to a gift you purchased to desiring the perfect feast and family get together, the perfect gift wrapping and decorations, etc.  Accept that you may not be able to achieve perfection in every aspect of your holiday season.
• Set yours plans for visiting family and friends in accordance with your priorities – There’s nothing quite as stressful as trying to be in 4 or 5 places (Mom’s place, Dad’s place, Granparent’s places, etc…) all at once.  Set your priorities for family visits with family and friends in accordance with YOUR priorities not those of your Great Aunt!  Consider alternating between your’s and your significant other’s families yearly and leave yourself the time to truly enjoy these opportunities – especially if visiting these families requires any significant travel requirements.
• For those last minute items, plan before you shop – It’s natural to forget an item or have to make a trip to pick up a few things at the last minute.  Make a list and plan where and what you will buy before you hop in the car and head to the mall.
• Take a moment to enjoy the moment – The stress caused by hectic schedules and season related to-do lists can be relieved by simply taking a moment to breathe and enjoy the wonderful around you!  Take a moment to remember why you celebrate this time of year.

How do you handle seasonal stresses?

photo credit: isabisa

It is important that we work towards our goals in life… personal and professional goals and aspirations… we’ve all heard that we need to keep our eye on the ball. 

Past experiences, especially less than favourable ones, contribute to fears and serve only to put perceived barriers in front of us.  These ‘limitations’ can prevent us from staying focused on our goals and put us into a state of accepting mediocrity.

But, for some, staying focused on some future end-result can be overwhelming at times also.  Sure, we all want to achieve goals and aspirations and achieve a certain level of success.  We know that if all we think about is past failures we are likely just putting ourselves into a state of inaction.  The same can be said, however, of focusing to far into the future… to live only in that end result takes our focus off the now.  A big goal, no matter what it is, can be daunting to think about if it’s not broken down into achievable steps that we can focus on today… steps we can take right now to get us that much closer to our goals.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” 
~  Robert Brault

It’s true.  For me, personally, I know that if I have a particularly big goal in front of me that focusing only on the end-result can overwhelm me and force me into a state of procrastination and making excuses… or it can take me out of the present moment and result in my absence to what is going on around me.  If instead I focus on the little steps I need to take right now, and I take action to achieve those little steps, then I can be satisfied at every moment that I am getting closer to my goal while staying present for myself and those around me.

“Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments.” 
~  Wayne Dyer

Appreciate the small things in life and take action on the steps necessary to achieve your goals.  You will live a m0re fruitful life and achieve beyond your imagination if you learn to savor the moment you’re in.  Furthermore, living in the now allows us to sieze opportunities as they unfold right in front of us…

“It would be incredible if we all lived every moment as if to create a memory we could cherish for a lifetime.”
~ Darren Sproat

photo credit: PrASanGaM

Will you remember in five years what you did today?

It would be incredible if everyone lived every moment as if to create a memory they could cherish for a lifetime.  What kind of life do you want to create?
~ Darren Sproat, 2008

Take a moment to absorb all that is wonderful going on around you and you stand a good chance of creating those memories you can cherish for a lifetime.  What kind of life do you want to create?

Warmest Regards,
Darren

Halloween marks an interesting time every year when kids of all ages (even us 30/40-somethings) dress up, wear masks and makeup, and conceal their true selves all in the name of fun… and to get boat loads of candy, of course!

I would argue that many of us wear masks every single day… to conceal fears or shortcomings, to reinforce an excuse or to convince those around us, or even ourselves, that we are something or someone we are not.

I write about being authentic a lot… I believe I’m putting my authentic self into everything I write for this blog. One individual I follow on Twitter initiated an interesting dialog with me shortly after I sent out a tweet about being authentic.  The entire dialog can be summed up in one tweet… 

“REVEALING authenticity is like removing layers from a “mask”.  Any attempt to CREATE authenticity just adds another layer.”
~ Carl Ingalls (Follow Carl on Twitter at @Carl_Ingalls)

Carl’s tweet sums up the true means to presenting your real self… the authentic you.  Peel off your masks and present the authentic you in all you think and in all you do.  Resist hiding behind excuses or perceived barriers…

“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.”
~ Leonardo Da Vinci

Have a safe and happy halloween… 

I would be honored if you chose to leave a comment.

Regards,
Darren